New York City

Lokal Stops: Death of the iPhones

A British journalist wrote about how the New York City subway is different from the London Underground and this made her very uncomfortable. So I guess she won’t be visiting the 1980s New York City themed haunted house. Back in the 80s, criminals rode the subway too, and there was so much graffiti it would be impossible to recognize a subway car even if one stopped right in front of you.

Yes, things that are different are scary.

Also today, the wait was finally over, and Apple finally released iOS 8.0.1. Everyone has been so anxious for this long-awaited update to iOS 8.0, which was released way back last Wednesday. Immediately after updating, iPhones everywhere began dying. Because for a cellular phone, I’m pretty sure death is when it can no longer connect to a cellular network. As thousands of shaking hands clutched onto the remains of their Loved One, Apple sank to its knees, folded its hands, and prayed, Please, please let’s everyone forget this by tomorrow. (For those of you waiting for Apple to resuscitate your phone, take your mind off your woes by reminding yourself of your phone’s superiority.)

Meanwhile, John Oliver continues to remind us of his superiority over the entire human race, and a startup is trying to replace real-life humans with code-based humans. I bet the world is going to be a much different place in ten years.

In conclusion, here is the only review of Destiny you’ll ever have to read.

Lokal Stops: The Future is Now

It all happened so fast, and we didn’t even see it coming. We have reached a new era and it is the future. We present to you, proof:

There are a lot of “what if” scenarios littered throughout history–key moments in our timeline that have very distinctly led up to our present day. If these key moments had gone even just a little bit differently, history could have been entirely rewritten. For example, what if Hitler won the war? What if we had never launched into Space? And, perhaps most importantly, what if Sega had won the console wars? Food for thought.

Lokal Stops: After Hours Edition

It’s Friday night, and happy Friday, but one day (one day soon) it will be Monday again. And when this day comes, there is something you need to do: stop with the sad desk lunches. This should be easier than ever now that you can strap on a pair of cyborg eyes, which means you no longer have to exhaust yourself trying to emotionally relate to your coworkers. So get out of your chair, secure a set of artificially empathetic eyes over your glazed expression, and socialize like it’s 2014!

Cyborg_glasses_let_you_fake_a_good_mood_-_CNET

Or you can just stay in your chair and read about how people socialized in 1964.

To make life a bit more enjoyable in the current day, this lone visionary is trying to produce a documentary that will make Disney fun for the people who actually pay for the tickets, instead of the moochers who just tag along and make you wait in line for two hours for a picture with some miserable guy in a Mickey costume.

Similarly, entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley are finding new ways to program their way into our hearts.

We’re all just trying to make the world a better place to live, aren’t we?

Finally, remember: torturers are people, too. And sometimes people make mistakes. Live and let live. Good night and good luck. I’ll let Gabriel García Márquez see you out.

INTERVIEWER:
Do you think the novel can do certain things that journalism can’t?
GARCÍA MÁRQUEZ:
Nothing. I don’t think there is any difference. The sources are the same, the material is the same, the resources and the language are the same.
from the Paris Review, the Art of Fiction No. 69