John Oliver

Lokal Stops: Death of the iPhones

A British journalist wrote about how the New York City subway is different from the London Underground and this made her very uncomfortable. So I guess she won’t be visiting the 1980s New York City themed haunted house. Back in the 80s, criminals rode the subway too, and there was so much graffiti it would be impossible to recognize a subway car even if one stopped right in front of you.

Yes, things that are different are scary.

Also today, the wait was finally over, and Apple finally released iOS 8.0.1. Everyone has been so anxious for this long-awaited update to iOS 8.0, which was released way back last Wednesday. Immediately after updating, iPhones everywhere began dying. Because for a cellular phone, I’m pretty sure death is when it can no longer connect to a cellular network. As thousands of shaking hands clutched onto the remains of their Loved One, Apple sank to its knees, folded its hands, and prayed, Please, please let’s everyone forget this by tomorrow. (For those of you waiting for Apple to resuscitate your phone, take your mind off your woes by reminding yourself of your phone’s superiority.)

Meanwhile, John Oliver continues to remind us of his superiority over the entire human race, and a startup is trying to replace real-life humans with code-based humans. I bet the world is going to be a much different place in ten years.

In conclusion, here is the only review of Destiny you’ll ever have to read.

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