grammar

Lokal Stops: Just Trynna to Be Optimistic Here

It turns out that our school librarians were right: books are the greatest weapons. Too bad the novel keeps dying on us. Because of Twitter and stuff.

Whether or not a civilization without novels still needs grammar, FiveThirtyEight found that people who think they’re smart use Oxford Commas. I can’t help but remember how the average American thinks he’s smarter than the average American.

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The average American is also generally optimistic, according to a Gallup survey. And the most optimistic of all is Texas. What does this say about Texas? What does this say about optimism?

Well, it’s surely also alive and well in Canada, where next month, a robot will attempt to hitchhike across the country, from Nova Scotia to British Columbia. HitchBOT can talk, but he can’t move on his own. It’s unclear whether he eventually intends to turn this adventure into a memoir, but he will be tweeting and instagramming, so that’s memoir-ish.

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We can’t all roll through Canada, fueled by the kindness of strangers’ cigarette lighters, but most of us can properly marvel at the beauty of our planet thanks to the kindness of Google. And we can all confirm that reality is a lie thanks to OK Go. Also a lie: soccer. If you’re new to the whole sports thing and that comes as a shock to you, take comfort in the fact that at least some of these guys are being punished.

Though soccer season abstinence might seem unduly cruel, no one had to tell Voldemort not to have sex. Someone probably should tell video game developers that women do more than sex. Or maybe just quietly think about it, since when you constructively talk about gender politics, you get death threats.

But let’s end today’s post remembering that good things and good people still exist in the world. All is not lost.

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