Game of Thrones

Lokal Stops: We Good

Good news: near-death experiences are overwhelmingly peaceful. Also, the asshole who comes in the office every morning touting all he’s already accomplished that day is less ethical at night than you, who woke up at a normal time.

Bad news: I’m drowning in soccer.

 
Although there may possibly be 10 quadrillion civilizations out in the universe – how come we haven’t heard from any of them yet? For god’s sake, where is everybody? Whatever the reasons for Fermi’s Paradox, us humans are doing the best we can to reach out to the abyss. If there’s anything you’ve been burning to tell distant, alien lifeforms, now’s your chance. After stopping at Pluto, a NASA probe will leave the comforts of our solar system, carrying digital messages from the people of Earth. How do we want to be remembered? What kind of a species do we want to be known as?

I, for one, propose we send out this Game of Thrones intro from the ’80s-that-could’ve-been:

 
I suppose the aliens would need context, so we might as well just send out all of Game of Thrones. I want to be remembered as the species that produced good television. Please dear god no one tell the aliens about Uber weddings.

And let it never be said that we are not a species that is constantly evolving.

Now, let’s take a step back from the vast cosmos and peer into the vast human brain instead. Despite the fact that everything we know, feel, and do is a direct result of our brains, we know little about how it works. And what do we do when we don’t know something? We examine it. We learn about it. We revise. We send probes into deep space, we study human creativity. We are a curious species.

Sometimes, we even solve some of nature’s mysteries.

We have our problems, but we’re okay.

We good, we good.

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Lokal Stops: The Limit Does Not Exist

All good things must come to being mistakes: the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau says they messed up and approved the powdered alcohol by accident. Don’t let the news cancel your fun, though: just cook up your own powdered amusements. The sky is the limit!

In other news, the sky is no longer the limit. In fact, the sky has not been the limit for quite some time. In fact, the limit does not existWe’ve been to the moon, pretty much assume there’s life on other planets, and soon we’ll be able to see aliens from the comfort of our own solar system.

These are all just baby steps… though giant, leaping baby steps, sure. The guy in charge at NASA says that if we want humanity to survive indefinitely, we’ll have to start colonizing other planets. NASA’s already working on designs for a new spacesuit for Mars. As we get closer to Mars, NASA will have to consider how to advertise space this time around. (Disney probably doesn’t have to be involved.) While we’re at it, we should probably also come up with some galactic laws.

Some cynics out there might be able to think of a reason or two that humanity might just want to stick to the one planet.

To those cynics, I say: things here on Earth could be a lot worse, so let’s try to chin up and look on the bright side. For example: on the bright side, a huge asteroid wiped out all of the creatures that would’ve kept us in the food chain. (On a murkier side, we aren’t as safe from asteroids as we like to believe–but at least if we’re ever struck, there’s a possibility that we’ll be remembered.)

Murky with a chance of sun: some poor schlep sold what might be Shakespeare’s annotated dictionary on eBay.

Also probably feeling pretty schleppy today is the NYPD, whose social media team asked people to tweet their photos with officers, tagged #myNYPD. You probably don’t need a link, you probably don’t need sample tweets of what happened next, but here you go anyway:

Twitter___mollycrabapple___myNYPD__johnknefel____

While the NYPD is treated to its daily ration of criticism/ridicule, James Franco once again enjoys some hearty portions of art-world-ego, while his peers smile and nod at him uncomfortably. For some discomfort outside of the art world, look no further than Game of Thrones’s accidental rapist.

If any of today’s news is making you anxious, you might want to dip into some of Earth’s natural resources for some peace of mind. Or just throw up your hands and let someone else take the wheel.