Chelsea Clinton

Lokal Stops: We Can’t Have Nice Things

Kids are dumb, but at least some of them grow up to realize how dumb they were and try to make sense of their past selves. Hey, kids, while you wait to grow up and gain some perspective, why don’t you put some effort into your education and play more video games?

Lena Dunham isn’t paying performers that she “hired” to follow her around on her book tour, because if she paid them, then they would have money, and then they wouldn’t be meandering broke twenty-something artists who know they could achieve something if only they could get a paying job! And besides, Lena’s pretty broke herself. She only got a $3.7 million advance on that book. Reminder: a book advance is money you get before you even write your stupid book. 

It’s National Coffee Day because we never appreciate what we love most unless we have a day designated to it. Go celebrate by doing exactly what you do every single day.

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